You’ve done all the right things, you’ve scheduled the babysitter, made reservations, picked out an outfit and have been looking forward to this date night with your spouse all week. The day comes… and for whatever reason, plans fall through and you have to stay at home with the kids. Date night is ruined… or is it?
Yes, there are definite benefits to getting out of the house and having time to just focus on each other. However, it is possible to still have connecting date nights when you are staying in. Here is a short guide to get you started on planning a special night of connection.
Give Yourself Time and Space to Adjust Headspaces
If you have just spent all day watching the kids or running around the office, it can be hard to switch into a romantic, connecting mindset. Switching hats from “parent” to “spouse” can take some effort. Try out different things and see what works for you. Taking a bath/shower, washing your face, doing a bit of hair/makeup, going outside, listening to some music, putting on something nice to wear, whatever works to switch your mind from “Here we go again…” to “Here.. we… go!”
Have A Plan
You are in your house… just like any other evening. It is really easy to try to sneak in one extra chore, do one more task, just going to bed early, etc… Take the time to brainstorm and talk to your partner about what they would like to do. Search up “fun date night in ideas” on the internet and you’ll be amazed at all the creative ideas people have come up with! There are also date night in subscription boxes you can sign up for to help facilitate this.
Lean Into Humor and Curiosity
Remember those early days of dating when you were incredibly curious to find out everything about your partner? When you couldn’t get enough of them talking, what happened to that? Oh… we found out everything… right? Actually, we only get to know our partners up to the point we stop asking questions. So let’s start again! What was their favorite part of their day? When you both first met? What do they most want to do when they retire? If they had 1 million dollars what would they spend it on? Again, the internet can be your best friend and cheat sheet on this one, there are hundreds of question prompts you can steal.
Close the Evening Out
At some point, you will need to go to bed. You will need to check on the kids, you will need to put the dog up, pick up the last few things, and turn in yourself. Have this ending be a part of the plan you discuss in step two. Do you want to make a blanket fort in the living room and watch a movie until you both fall asleep? Do you want to play a board game to completion and then go to bed? Or do you want to take a bath together first? Talk through what you want to do, and when it’s time to go to bed, discuss what your favorite things were, go through your normal bed time routine, and then curl up with your love, enjoying the time you were able to spend together.
Relationships take creativity! My focus is on working within the structure of your life and what works for you and your relationship. Do you have any specific questions? Give us a call at 832-421-8714 and ask for me! I would love to work with you and your partner to create a happy, connecting, peaceful relationship.
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